blessings.

the Lord is truly gracious to me. so often, the sin of pride plagues my life. i just get so wrapped up into my life. my time. my worth. my friends. my struggles. my happiness. me. me. me. yet God is still gracious. so often, i rely on happiness apart from joy. if i am not happy, i feel all twisted inside. what happened to the simple pleasures of just basking in the joy of the Lord. where did i take a wrong turn. i say all i need in this life is Jesus. i fail at perfection. i fail at living a life worthy of Jesus Christ. yet God is still gracious. God still continues to bless with with more than i could ever ask. he sees me as righteous all because of Jesus. i come to him with sin and struggles and he comes to me with more love than most people feel in a lifetime. so often, i fail at being a Christian. God never fails as being sovereign. he lavishes perfect love on me that never lets go. he empties me to fill me back up again. he is jealous for me. he desires my life to be one hundred percent sold out to him. i fail. He is still God. grace given. grace received. how is it that i have so much trouble giving it out. He blesses me. I should want to do the same for others. how is it so hard?