okay, here we go.
i survived my first semester in college. no, survived isn't the right word. at all. because you see, i love unc wilmington and everything that college involves. i didn't just survive it; i had such an amazing first couple of months. yes the first week scared the heck out of me, but God truly provided amazing Christian friends in my life to encourage me in my faith, to walk beside me, and to share special, unforgettable moments with.
[some highlights of first semester]
-sarah cox and whitney sprinkle. i don't know what i would do without them. they are such blessings to me.
-getting to know hayley kerr, nicki tschudi, madison wolf, katie worley, christina cramer, and chelsey glover better. they are such wonderful people.
-crusade and the wonderful people that i have met through that.
-bible study. bible study ladies. bible study leaders. friends of the bible study leaders.
-the beach. what better place to study? oh wait. i just lay out :]
-my relationship with Jesus Christ, first and foremost. i have grown more closer than ever to the Lord through my time in college thus far. He never ever ever ceases to amaze me.
-the God given ability to work hard in school and enjoy the benefits of good grades. AND the wonderful blessing of Leah Mayo, the most amazing grad student who helped me pass chemistry! I am indebted to her forever.
-the constant love and support of the most amazing family in this world. i can not even begin to count all of the letters I have received from the people who love me most in this world.
-the friendships with Tori Milioni & Lucy Moore. my best friends. my support group. my shoulders to cry on. I love you both.
-increased confidence in myself, in who I am in Christ, and in my faith.
-a wonderful roommate. i have to admit, i didn't know what to expect, but she is one of the nicest people in this world, and i am blessed!
-ohhh, how could i forget. I MET NAPOLEON DYNAMITE! IN AN AIRPORT! IN GREENSBORO! soo awesome.
sorry i'm saying blessed so much, but i just can't describe it any other way. i hope that gave you a small insight into my life these past few months.
life is not easy. its not always beautiful. its not a thing that is laid out for you, with maps everywhere to point you where to go or what to do next. its difficult. and at times, you don't even know what to begin to do next. but i will tell you one thing..as challenging as it may be, its only exciting, and enjoyable, and fulfilling if it is life centered on Jesus Christ. I am going through a book called "Crazy Love" and i have not even gotten past the first chapter & I am already beginning to see God in a new way. Often, I feel so complacent with they way I see God. I see Him as my Father who loves me no matter what. Often, that's my way of justifying sin. "..oh God will love me even if i do this...He'll forgive me." not right one bit. God, who created the galaxies and every living thing on this earth, loves me with a CRAZY love. He wants a relationship with me. The old is in the past. He desires me. Yet I continue to seek love in all the wrong places. He wants me. what am i going to do? passionately follow Christ or simply sit back and be complacent with life? i want to love God with a crazy love, just as He loves me. its so worth it, yet so hard to give up the things you think you want the most in this life. but HE is what matters. i hope i can fully grasp that some day.
sorry for all the scattered thoughts, but don't say i didn't warn you.
do you know when you have one thing on your mind constantly, and no matter what you do or say, it just won't go away? well, i do. i have been praying and trying and wishing that it would go away, but honestly it hasn't. some may call me crazy but i guess i really don't care. its how i feel, and i can't help that. my desires are strong, and no matter how much i try to shake them, they won't go away. i just wish i had the courage to tell people how i feel. you only get one go around in life..why not jump at chances? i've tried to reason in my mind, i've tried to ignore the hurt, but you see, i can't let it go. its been with me for so long..its kinda hard to just let it go, give it up, move on.
i guess i could try. or maybe i could just take a chance. hmm.
this is so long. i'm sorry. like i said, i had a lot to cover.
i think i may sign off for now. so much is running through my head, but i'm just going to keep it there. maybe save it for later.
i'm just going to leave you with a few quotes i really enjoyed this past year. ah 2010 is almost here. so many things i hope to accomplish in the new year. its a fresh start. a new beginning. a chance to be different. to be better. i hope.
"Never give up what you want most for what you want now." -unknown [i saw this in randall library]
"all of my life, in every season, You are still God; i have a reason to sing. i have a reason to worship." -hillsong
"my feet are stuck here against the pavement, i wanna break free i wanna make it closer to your eyes,get your attention before you pass me by" -colbie caillat
"Nothing is better than something, cause I'm waiting for the real thing."
"then you come crashing in, like the realest thing; trying my best to understand all that your love can bring.." -john mayer
"i delight myself in the richest of fair, trading all that i've had for all that is better" -shane & shane
"Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting; from the grave you've risen VICTORIOUSLY!" -charlie hall
"so we are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes; if His grace is an ocean we're all sinking" -david crowder
"incomparable, unchangeable, You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same; You are amazing God." -chris tomlin
"You gave what the world couldn't offer us." -hillsong
"i've got a tight grip on reality, but i can't let go of what's in front of me here" -paramore
"Everything You are to me is everything i'll ever need"
"sometimes i grow weary, from goin' all the time. i love to take a minute, let you ease my mind. oh Carolina, ya keep callin me home, callin me home" -eric church
"do you remember the way you looked at me back then; two hungry eyes wrapped up in a smile so innocent" -corey smith
"God can do whatever He wants to do, however He wants to do it. And He chooses to work in our lives because He loves us, because He's good. Hope today's a milestone for what He can do for the rest of you life if you trust Him." -facing the giants
thats all. i hope your 2009 was wonderful. lets seek Christ in 2010. love to you all.
kate.
